Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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