i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
