Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
