there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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