Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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