My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
