why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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