no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We left an ass print on the piano.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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