just tell him i said nine months
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Fuck appropriateness.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
