i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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