i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
