why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
