Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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