i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
