Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
