That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
