i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
