Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
