girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
