You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
