he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I supernannyed him into submission
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
