This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
