Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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