Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
