After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
