oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
