I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
