have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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