i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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