I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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