So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They took my balls.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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