Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
