Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
