i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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