So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
