he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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