College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
