did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
