At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
