it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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