is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
