not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
