the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
