pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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