Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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