OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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