May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
