I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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