i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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