im drinking this country out of the recession.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
